It is March. My garden is full of primroses, crocus and daffodils. Yet again my fingers have proved not to be green and not a single snowdrop bulb has germinated. Never mind I have the rest and the grass is growing. On the other hand in between glorious sunny days there is yet more rain and parts of Bedford and many of the local villages have floods. Poor people worrying about their homes and having to take alternative routes yet again. Half term was a bit of a washout especially if youngsters wanted to row or play football or rugby. The river has forgotten where its banks were, and pitches are sodden. Grown ups are really grouchy if they are banned from their golf courses. Never fear in four months’ time we might have a heatwave and hosepipe bans!
So what am I thinking about? It started about ten days ago when I was talking to a friend about how we learn respect. Some families are very respectful of different members and generations, maybe especially when they do not agree. We take that out into our other relationships. I have a university friend whom I have known since we were both 19 and just setting out. He is an engineer and a convinced atheist. I am a theologian and a convinced Christian. We have never fallen out over our beliefs but respect each other’s viewpoints and value all the other things we are and that we do.
Whilst I was chewing on all this we saw the scenes in parliament that disgraced the House of Commons. It seemed to me that everyone was reverting to playground behaviour. Of course, before that I wrote last month about the sub-postmasters who have been offered no respect only suspicion and condemnation.
Why is it important to respect each other in the workplace? Because unless we respect each other we cannot develop trust. And no one develops trust unless they think the other person is trustworthy. I spend lots of time with clients talking about this. If we do not develop trust then we cannot lead (and I mean lead not manage). Leadership is a privilege bestowed on us. If we do not deserve it then the people in our teams register their feelings by going somewhere else. We have to earn respect and from that trust.
Someone asked me about what I mean by trust the other day. I have told this story often before. There is a theologian called Henri Nouwen and it is his example. Imagine a duo on the high trapeze. There is the catcher and the flyer. The catcher has to get their trapeze swinging just right and in synch with the flyer who is going in the opposite direction remember. They have to be ready to catch and take the sudden weight of their colleague. The flyer has to get their trapeze swinging regularly, nearer and nearer the catcher. The two swings have to meet at the point of transfer. The flyer then lets go, leaps into space and connects with the catcher. It all works perfectly, and everyone is safe 60 feet in the air. That is trust!
Would your team members trust you like that? On a day-to-day basis do you demonstrate that you will catch them without fail and without fuss?
When we were together in offices or factories or wherever our workspace was we saw people’s behaviour day to day and just knew. Now it is more difficult as we have so many hybrid jobs.
Have you read James Timpson’s The Happy Index yet? If not, do. The subtitle is “Lessons in upside down management”. That is one way of describing James’ style. He was brought up in an unusual family and I think this is where his maverick approach started. He is one of three children, but his Mum and Dad (CEO of the Timpson’s group and therefore quite busy!) decide to foster. They had many foster children often from very troubled family situations. He remembers sitting in the car outside Styal Prison in Wilmslow waiting whilst his mum took a baby in to see its Mum. He learnt respect and he learnt people often have a tough hand of cards. When he went into the business and became CEO himself he had more contact with prisons and became passionate about giving work to prison leavers. I expect you know about this and the high number of shop managers who have this experience. OK, he has made mistakes, but he trusts first and if it does not work out, then they part company. However at the bottom of these relationships is trust. Talk to Timpson’s managers and they will tell you how they have complete freedom to decide what/if to charge customers and how to solve any issues that arise. Remember their outlets are small they are often the only person on duty – no one to ask. And remember it works as they are profitable.
James gives them encouragement and builds respect by recognizing individual needs and meeting them. He helps sometimes with furniture, dental bills whatever is needed. His base belief is that if he trusts he will be trusted. Yes, I say again sometimes it goes wrong.
I cannot tell this audience what you should do to build respect and trust with your teams – it depends on your unique situation. My job as a mentor is to engage your subconscious which is where I believe the answers lie. I do that in all sorts of strange ways and often people do not even know it is happening. That is of no importance; what matters is that it does, and you find yourself coming up with answers. Some will work and some will not. Remember that well known adage that if we always do the same thing we always get the same result. Change brings change.
So if you want to talk about how you engage people through respect and trust give me a call. I love talking to people. We can talk about your business and what you want from it and your life. I love speaking with people, off the meter, to help them explore possibilities and whether/how to take them forward. I hope you will be one of them.
And by the way do read The Happy Index!