It is April. The month of this year’s Easter. lots of children are already on school holidays and wondering when the Easter eggs will arrive. The sunshine is wonderful and will be lovely s people take Easter breaks.
The world is reeling. Everyday seems to bring a new thought from Washington and cause us to consider yet another idea that seems outlandish but as it is pursued jolts us with its possible consequences. I have just heard Professor Brian Cox say that every new leader should spend a week in space to see their own country and the earth from above to remember this is what they are responsible for. What a glorious idea.
So apart from this what have I been thinking about? Gareth Southgate and thigh high red patent boots.
Let’s start with Kinky Boots. I saw it as a film back in 2005. I have seen it as a play and then a couple of weeks ago I saw it as a musical. I expect you all know the story. Charlie inherits his family’s shoe factory which has been with them for a number of generations. He does not want it and it is on the edge of bankruptcy. He meets Lola, a drag queen and the idea dawns on him that men in stilettos need a boot made to handle a man’s height and weight. Lola is also struggling with life. As a man, life is difficult and as a woman everything falls into place, but others especially family have to adjust and be accepting. After many twists and turns: success! However for me the core story is about Charlie and Simon (aka Lola) coming to terms with who and what they are. Neither of them have had an easy time. For both of them they were trying subconsciously to be something that was not comfortable. To be at ease with what they truly are is what it is all about. Along the way the audience laughs, cries and routes for Lola and her amazing costumes in a huge way – especially on the tour where Johannes Radebe shows he is born to play the part.
So how does this take me to Sir Gareth in his signature waistcoats? Like so many others I watched him deliver the Dimbleby Lecture. He spoke about young people but said straight away although he includes young women he does not know anything much about them. His themes were identity, connection and culture. He urged us to help young people find out who they are and how to be the best they can be as they inhabit this person. He says this is done through finding a tribe and making connections with people who want the best for them and can help them to develop. These are people who form a positive culture that supports them and nourishes them to go further. It is a compulsive argument from a man who experienced so much not just in sport but wrote that incredible letter now known as “Dear England”. He knows what he is talking about. More importantly he has made it happen.
Since that lecture “Adolescence” has appeared on our screens and it explores how a young boy goes in the opposite direction. Everyone seems to be watching it. As an aficionado of Radio 4 every programme is doing a deep dive into what it is all about. What does it mean to be a man today?
So this month much of my thought is about every one of us finding who we are and embracing it. We are uniquely gifted but have each grown up in an environment that might nurture and develop those gifts or might not. Some of those influences are frightening in their hideousness. I am not suggesting that everyone can haul themselves away from it. We can be damaged and if we are we need to seek what Gareth calls connection. We need to find a tribe that supports us as we repair the damage and then underpins the destiny we have.
However as business people we have a greater responsibility to model what is possible. Are you brave enough to do this? Having reconciled yourself to what you are do you show it in how you work and how you live?
I talk with lots of different coaches who work in many different ways depending on their quiver of experiences. One, whom I admire hugely, is a born psychic but a trained psychotherapist. It is a fascinating mixture. We were speaking about how she combines the two. Basically she is in that wonderful space of “unconscious competence”. She does what she does and no longer questions what she is – it works.
So what about you? Have you really examined who you are? Have you stepped into the space? Do you bravely play to the varieties of your being: the talents you were born with, the skills you have learned and the lessons your experience has taught you? If so, it’s fantastic. If not, why not? The person you are cheating is yourself but you are also cheating all the people around you – your family, your friends and all your business colleagues. Please if you have read this far think about this. Life is not a rehearsal for you. Happiness comes from authenticity. And if you are of a mind, to think about the legacy you will leave. And remember this is like a snowball at the top of the hill, as it rolls to the bottom it becomes massive. The more you are yourself the easier and more potent it becomes. You can become the connection for the young men and women who need support – the more you do it, the more you become it.
As a businessperson if you step into your destiny you will also build a culture in your business you that builds and supports those around you. People work for people and the way it feels to around you. Please be who you are meant to be and if that involves wearing red patent thigh high boots then do. Be who you are and do it naturally. It will make you happier but also successful in the widest sense of the word.
If you want some help then please reach out to me. Let me be your buddy. Please talk to me. We can explore who you are and where it might take you. We can find ways of developing your skills; of using that amazing asset you have: you. I love speaking with people, off the meter, to help them explore possibilities and whether/how to take them forward. I hope you will be one of them.
And please watch Sir Gareth Southgate’s lecture if you have not done so already.