It is December. November seemed an awfully long month. There was a budget and an American Election and those things made it feel not just long but bleak. It also got cold; there was more rain and consequent floods, and short days. Now we are into December and thank goodness, there are all sorts of good things to look forward to. One small boy was telling me about his Advent calendar this morning; no chocolate but Lego!! I want one of those. We may all have massive To Do list of things to prepare, buy or wrap but remember we always get there and Santa comes!
I shall say no more and just wish you good luck and a happy Advent.
What am I thinking about?
I am thinking about rooms filled with strangers.
Several of my clients are re-examining their sales avatars and out of that will come people they need to find.
Then last week I went to see Come From Away. Do you know about this show? It tells the story following 9/11 when American air space was closed. Canada volunteered to take planes that were already in the air. 38 commercial planes and 4 military aircraft landed at Gander in Newfoundland. This was once a large airport but not now because planes carry enough fuel not to require a refueling stop. The town numbers about 10,000 people and with virtually no notice nearly 7000 refugees landed on them. They were from all over the world and the only thing they had in common was that they were flying to the US. Due to weather they were stranded there up to six days.
The Newfounders did not flinch; they drew on their natural human kindness to feed, house and entertain their visitors. Maybe some had no option but had to react to peer pressure. Maybe they just rose to the occasion. I expect there was a spectrum of willingness but the community took it on.
There has been a book, a radio play, a film and a documentary about this and in 2017 a musical premiered. This is now on tour.
Imagine. You have to find water, food, cooks, space, bedding, toiletries, medicines, clothing and dozens of other things that people need. Alongside all that there are language and cultural differences but most of all there was anxiety. They all waited to see whether there would be more atrocities, more terrorism in the outside world. The Newfounders and “refugees” had more immediate concerns. They were wondering whether there was any passenger among them who had been planning to abduct a plane and turn it into a flying bomb. There were people terrified for the safety of friends and family in New York possibly in the Twin Towers. Everyone was in a heightened state of anxiety and therefore on edge, very spiky and ultra cautious. The show tells the story of nearly 100 hundred phone lines being put in to allow people to reach out for news but of course everything was in chaos and anxiety. For many that persisted.
Somehow in those uncertain days of waiting for information and to fly out the passengers and locals found a way of living together, started to trust each other and many became friends. Later one couple even married.
All this takes me back to people creating new avatars. This can be interesting and even fun. However once the analysis is done we have to find the places where these mythical people hang out. Sometimes this is easy – they are in the gym and you are in the gym. But you might not be a gym bunny somehow you have to find a way to hang out with them. Sometimes they hang out on social media, sometimes at the rugby club, sometimes at the PTA, sometimes at trade shows, sometimes listening to podcasts or attending the multitude of networking occasions that have popped up. You have to access them and these might not be places or activities which feel familiar; which you enjoy or where you feel comfortable. You have little option but to step out into the unknown and trust in the natural human kindness of others to make you welcome.
For your part you need to show up with the right attitude, an open mind, ready to learn about the place whether it is virtual or real, where you are looking for people, potential clients. Your uncertainty will be smelt by others but they will help provided you reach out and are genuinely interested in where you are and what you are doing. Of course you need to leave the “salesy” person at home. People buy human beings not salespeople. You have to be natural, open and interested in these new people. Remember the old saying “strangers are just friends we don’t know yet”.
There is the other side to this you might be a regular visitor; this might be your place. You need to welcome strangers and help them get to know this space.
So for me Come From Away is a huge lesson in walking through your anxiety to take yourself into what might be an unknown environment. Have faith the people there will welcome you and look after you.
It may well be that you cannot do this on your own.
It can be really hard to stand back and assess these things. Overcoming anxiety is about accountability and most of us need someone else to be accountable to.
Why not let me help you? Please talk to me. We can talk about your business, where you are with it, what you want from it and your life. We can find a way of exciting you about walking into those strange rooms. Remember you have time to prepare and choose your moment. I love speaking with people, off the meter, to help them explore possibilities and whether/how to take them forward. I hope you will be one of them.
And, if you can, try and see Come From Away. It will make you laugh; make you cry and make you give thanks for human kindness.