It is June.
We have already had our first heat waves of the year. Half term is past. “A” level exams are in full swing so we have stressed students and parents. We just have to hang on and to make it through to event season: Royal Ascot, Wimbledon, Henley, the World Cup. Children not doing public exams are already telling me about what they are going to do in the summer and it will be here in a flash!
So what I have I been thinking about? Well it started with families. I am an only child, my parents are long dead, so are my aunts and uncles, most of whom did not have kids. However I was asked about my husband’s family history and it opened up a can of worms about genes, proclivities, inherited trades, knowledge etc.
Bear with me I am getting there. Then last weekend I listened to The Moral Maze on Radio 4. You all know what a Radio 4 freak I am and I particularly like this series where they select a topic in the news and then look at it from a moral angle. Various eminent people ask questions of those with opinions on both sides of the argument. I have to admit occasionally I lose the will to live but last weekend it was about networking; is it morally neutral or good or bad? Good because networks can help social mobility and support people; bad because networks can be grooming organisations and suck their members into shocking situations as Epstein did. Keeping in with the crowd can destroy all sense of right and wrong.
They went on to talk about big networks: families, universities, parliament, gentlemen’s clubs, the church, LinkedIn etc. This took me to NETWORKING The thing all businesspeople love to hate but know they have to do. We all know that networking is not about selling to the room it is getting to know people with different talents, skills and interests who bring something into your life and who want to know you too. The connection is business but the glue that holds the relationships together is shared values and common cause. I could write a book about networking but there are plenty of those about!
Now how do you find the right group for you? I think it is easy to walk into a room, take the temperature and it feels wrong. I do not mean that sinking feeling of not knowing people, not knowing how to make small talk or dreading the moment when you have to make your elevator pitch. I mean walking into a venue that feels alien – it is not your type of place. Of course I am very discriminating about wheelchair access. Recently I was going to a big networking meeting run by a friend. I was really looking forward to it. On my way there she had to phone me to tell me to her embarrassment and amazement I would not be able to get in. I gave her totally because I love who and what she is. However I have gone to events and got no further than the car park because I have not the energy to fight my way in. Other times I have persevered and gone round the back, in through the warehouse or the kitchen of the building next door to use the lift and then schlep through miles of corridor or go across precarious ramps. Yes I can persevere but as I have a short fuse, once I get in the people and the hospitality have to be absolutely exceptional to talk me down from my high horse. What am I saying here? My case is extreme but if the venue is not somewhere you would normally want to visit yourself or the welcome is lacking then this is the wrong group to join.
We can all feel the cliques – those holy huddles in the corner who come to chat to each other but no one else. We have all been to long (often very delicious lunches) only to sit with someone whose personality, interests or business chat is totally uninteresting but we are stuck with it for two courses. So ask is the format right for you.
In business networks we should have lots in common: the national economy, the local business environment, local services, transport, education, the local council, MP but it does not always work out does it?
So what am I saying here? Just like we write a person specification when we are recruiting write a specification for your ideal network. Firstly is it real world or virtual? Then what are your objectives? Here are just a few:
- New friends because you have just moved there or left the corporate environment
- Social interaction because you work alone
- People in your industry so you can talk about where it is going/profession
- Personal development – speaking, social confidence etc.
- People who will introduce you to other interesting people
- People who know great trades people when you need an emergency electrician or advice on installing a heat pump.
- Common cause
- People who share your ethics especially about charities
- People who like to have fun in the same way you do
- People you can refer to others when they need a………
- People who will get to understand you and your skills and can help you develop them and may introduce you to potential customers
Or maybe it is some combination of these plus a million other motivations
My message in this Thought is think about who you want to spend time with. Your time is precious. Your reputation is precious. Find people who enrich your life and are worth spending time with. Not people who might drag you into something that you might despise. I remember someone once saying to me “If you have lunch with someone you would not want your mother to see you with it is probably a mistake”. I guess that depends on your Mum! However the bible does say by their friends you shall know them – wise words.
Your job is to make money and grow your business and I never lose sight of that and neither must you however you are your greatest asset and all I say is spend time with people in groups that help you become what you truly are and part of that is through challenge and support. Having to apologise for your contacts or trying to be something you are not is a recipe for failure, running with the herd rather than finding your own tribe is unsatisfying at the very least.
Maybe you and I might be great tribal members for each other. If you would like a chat about this and how it would affect your business development please give me a call 07968 822275 or email me at liz@elizabethtoogood.com
We might want to work together in this exciting business world we both inhabit or we might not. Just to meet each other would be good and if I can bring my tribe to you that would be great.
Now I am off to think about which one or two of my business friends I want to meet up with this month, and it will involve food!