It is November today. It is now really autumn, half term has been in full swing, the clocks have gone back. The leaves are turning colour and what beautiful colours they are. Halloween has also mesmerized those of a certain age and the seasonal aisles in the supermarkets. Guy Fawkes night is about to come but maybe it is a good thing that a ritual burning of the man who tried to blow up parliament is much less popular than it was when I was a kid.

People are booking in Christmas events and the shops are overrun with Christmas products.
It is a time of year when everything is about anticipation. This year there has been even more anticipation because of the Chancellor’s first budget and we await the result of the American election wondering what it will bring for the UK.

What am I thinking about?

Fear.

It all started when one of my Great God children came to see me with her Mum and Dad. She is nine and spent a good while drawing me a Halloween picture. Can you see it above? At the moment she is obsessed with the Addams family and their spooky house. When I was gifted the artwork I asked lots of questions about haunted houses. That was all fine but eventually I had to confess that I am terrified of anything which flies. This includes her rather large bat. She was amazed and I was closely questioned about bats, different types of bird and why I feel like this. I will not bore you with the answers which are unique to me but it reminded me of one of my mentors. He taught me how to negotiate and he always said there were two things any manager or negotiator should know about themselves so they can protect their vulnerabilities:

What am I frightened of?
What makes me susceptible?

Susceptibility took my thoughts to Keir Starmer and those in the Cabinet who have accepted gifts. Now I do not know how items were given to them, on what terms or if they were things for which they had a soft spot. I do know that a boyfriend with whom I was breaking up tried to bribe me with the most gorgeous pair of diamond and sapphire earrings. He knew my soft spot. It took a huge amount of willpower to enforce the breakup and find the enormous amount of determination to return those earrings. I like jewelry and he knew it. This did not get me into serious trouble but it might have done. Accepting gifts has not done the government any good and people are asking questions about what donors might expect in return. Once someone has a hold over you it might lead anywhere.

In the business world it is now frowned upon to accept gifts of whatever value from suppliers. I also know lots of people who are susceptible to praise and can be persuaded into almost anything if the other person massages their ego. Or the donor may use a subtle form of blackmail. The most underhand is the “only you can do this” line. It is rarely true. Do unscrupulous people know your vulnerabilities and use the knowledge? Please identify your susceptibility and take care that others do not use it to manipulate you.
Now let’s get back to fear. There are all types of fear in the business world. It is no reflection on any of us that we are frightened of something. It is natural. Here are just a small selection of fears I have come across:

Doing proper management accounts because they may tell a frightening story which I cannot face.
Doing a cashflow for the next six months because cash may run out and I am afraid to face that possibility.
Having a difficult conversation with a team member may be unpleasant and lead to more difficulties, like them working to rule, having to manage a performance plan, a grievance procedure or a resignation.
Going networking because no one will talk to me, I do not know what to talk about, I hate delivering an elevator pitch.
Any situation where I have to discuss my business because I might be seen as a pushy salesperson.
Cold calling. I may be rejected.
Deciding about a supplier because I may pick the wrong one.
Making any decision because it might be the wrong one or it means I then have to adopt a course of action that might be hard going.
Writing a proposal because it is hard to describe the benefits of working with me, or I might make the cost too high and it might be turned down.
Writing a regular blog. It could be seen as rubbish.
Starting a hard task because then I have to complete it.

Now of course it all depends on the size of your fear. Again, it is no reflection on us but we do need to take some action. Here are some options:

Smaller fears might be overcome by giving yourself a good talking to. My mother had a favourite expression “imagine you are a pair of curtains and pull yourself together”.
Some can be overcome by recognising the prize for doing whatever it might be as well worth the price of doing it.
Some can be overcome by training.
Some need outside support, someone to walk with you to keep you on track as you tackle it.
Some need you to create a team so you do it together.
Some require you to delegate whatever it might be to ensure it is done, done properly and done on time.
Some need you to have aversion therapy or a powerful psychological intervention.

So please identify your business fear and tackle it now because it is holding you back.

It may well be that you cannot do this on your own.
It can be really hard to stand back and assess these things. Overcoming fear is about accountability and most of us need someone else to be accountable to.

Why not let me help you? Please talk to me. We can talk about your business, where you are with it, what you want from it and your life. We can find a way of dealing with your fears. I love speaking with people, off the meter, to help them explore possibilities and whether/how to take them forward. I hope you will be one of them.
And remember Michael Rosen’s brilliant insight in Going on a Bear Hunt.

We are going on a bear hunt.
We are going to catch a big one.
What a beautiful day!
We’re not scared.

Uh-uh! Grass!
Long wavy grass.
We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it!

Oh no!
We have to go through it!