It’s September. I expect you are wondering where August went. Without looking for more sympathy (you were all very generous last month and enough is enough), August has dragged by for me with my broken tibia. However I have had masses of wonderful visitors and no pressure from the clock. Now September is the beginning of autumn, a new term, a new start for us all, each in our own way. I think of a well organised friend with a personal shopper who will buy her whole autumn and winter wardrobe in one September day and then get on with her professional life. Wow!
What am I thinking about?
Language and culture.
In my care home most of the wonderful carers are working in their second language. Now how good is your Punjabi or your Hindi? Mine is none existent. It even means that I sometimes have difficulty getting my tongue around the names on their badges. How awful is that? People wear badges and I am not able to make a good attempt at the name it shows. It makes me ashamed. I hate it even more when they anglicise their names to make life easier for us. So how do we establish relationships in this situation? I can only tell you what I am trying to do. Three main things:
- Ask lots of questions about common ground like families.
- Find a common sense of humour and we do laugh a lot.
- Try to find a language we both understand. It means lots of trial and error on both sides and often even more humour. It is about thinking through the idea and then finding a range of words to help me. Basic communication stuff but not always easy.
Thinking about language made me realise how much we have simplified language in my lifetime and we continue to do so. Many of my fellow residents are much older than me and I hear them using language and idiom I would not select but it takes me back to my mother’s generation. When I was a child words like “manageress” were used. My mother was called it, so were at least three aunts, even my aunt who ran a factory making posh swimwear was called a factory manageress. Of course all these women worked for male managers or directors and would never be deemed capable of taking on their roles however competent they were. This was the tweed ceiling – you had to wear a tailored suit. Now we speak of the glass ceiling, though thank goodness it is less prevalent and being shattered every day even in those few last dinosaur places.
This took me to apparently leaderless teams where people move into roles without specific titles. It is all about acknowledging complimentary expertise. I saw this recently in the paster room at the fracture clinic. There were three experts – all with badges and names I could easily pronounce, all by chance women. Each had a specialism and each was playing to it and using the skills of the others at the key moment. Decisions were taken naturally and quickly. The process was very smooth and encouraged huge confidence in the patients whether that was three year old with a broken arm or a more mature person with a broken tibia.
I see it here in leaderless carer teams. It is fascinating being on the receiving end of this. I am not going into detail but how they manoeuvre to work together and then do it flawlessly is a real lesson in interpersonal skills.
Whilst I am waiting to heal I have read all The Murder Club books – a great read. Here we have characters who do not know what they ae capable of (in the main and at least to start with) but have a huge range of skills and total trust in each other. If you do not know what I am talking about read the books!
In the early part of my career the fashionable issue was learning leadership skills, but it was against the background of everyone knowing who the boss and them having a title. Once back then I was put on a multidisciplinary team to look at the feasibility of a new project. I thought I was selected for my growing specialist expertise. However we had all done the Belbin Team Roles questionnaire. It was only when things started to fall apart and when I was pulled out for a bollocking that I leant differently. Apparently I was earmarked as the leader but had given defference to those older and with wider experience. I woke my ideas up very quickly! No damage was done long term as the project was not a runner. However I learnt lots of lessons. Jus a few: do not make assumptions; tell people why they have been placed in the situation; learn you do not need to have a title.
I have spoken a great deal recently making your table bigger. Bring people into your life who you may not know you need until they you meet them. Find people who make things happen for you. Find people who bring out the best in you. People who complete your jigsaw.
Of course I would say this as I do this work all the time and it is my huge pleasure. If it rings bells for you then please give me a call. I would love to explore whether me coming to your table would make you more the person you want to be.
I love hearing about people’s lives, off the meter, to help them explore possibilities and whether/how to take them forward. I hope you will be one of them.
And take care, people with no titles do not have the same boundaries and could take you to exciting new places!